Meat Loaf: Bat Out Of Hell III: The Final At Bat Songs by Jim Steinman??

"But then he made two albums without Steinman—Welcome to the Neighborhood in 1996 and the current Couldn't Have Said It Better, which failed to achieve Bat heights. Obviously he needed Steinman musically. Steinman's career was also having its ups and downs—he wrote Bonnie Tyler's hit single 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' and the lyrics for Andrew Lloyd Webber's Whistle Down the Wind, but his own show Dance of the Vampires flopped spectacularly on Broadway. So the other day he rang Meat Loaf and told him he was busy writing Bat 3—he claims to have written eight songs already..."

That comes from a piece by Lynn Barber in The Observer Sunday 7 December 2003.

Let's say things had progressed from there. Let's say that, somehow, Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman committed to making an album called "Bat out of Hell III: The Final at Bat" and went into the studio. A lot of things needed to work out here. Meat needed to be happy. Jim needed to be happy. The record company needed to be happy. "Bat out of Hell" and "Bat out of Hell II" had sold a combined, what I'm guessing would have been 50 million by this point. When "Bat II" happened, nobody was really sure what the outcome of the project would be. With "Bat III", it was another story.

But let's say that all of the pieces had been put into place, and "Bat out of Hell III: The Final at Bat" had been announced for, I don't know, October 2007. There will be a single released in advance of the album, which would probably be the song "What Part of my Body Hurts the Most?"

Release day arrives. Michael Whelan or somebody else has painted a new cover for the album. We all go down to the record store, because yes, we were still going down to record stores in those days. The doors open and there it is, right there in the latest release section. What do you think would have been the cover? I can see this one maybe (but how do you get the names in there? I've never really been able to figure that out.)

It's an extraordinary moment, to say the least. So what might have been the track list? From what I know, I think Jim would have liked to have used material from "Dance of the Vampires", "Batman" and "Wuthering Heights", but along with some new stuff as well. After all, this is what had happened with "Bat II", although I remember Jim saying on his blog that he wanted more new material.

But whatever the songs were, let's just say I've walked into the store, paid for the album, gone home, shut the curtains over and listened to that album in solid darkness, an immersive cinematic experience on headphones!

In my mind, as of now, (but the list has changed countless times, like trying to finish a jigsaw puzzle that's missing a few of the pieces), I press play on *this* album. And it *begins*!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!!! The blast and the shock waves of the "Tanz" Overture, ripping through my headphones! Would they have even re-recorded it? Would they have needed to, I wonder??? Remember Celine's "All Coming Back" uses many of the elements from Pandora's Box.

The "Overture" subsides. But it's orchestral this time, it's not so much guitars, and there’s not a motorcycle anywhere to be found, so it's different, it's broken from the tradition, but "The Monster is Loose" did the same thing, and actually I don't remember a motorcycle anywhere on that album.

Now we hear those chords, and Meat Loaf singing those lines... How is he sounding? But he's singing: "Come with me and bless the night... Let the darkness be your salvation..." And rock band and orchestra just let loose on "Carpe Noctem", a soaring ten minute opening with many peaks and valleys. As an opener, "Carpe Noctem" has more in common with "Bat out of Hell", but to me this is all the same world. The middle section and the finale are some of the album's most astonishing moments, I think, especially with the choir singing "Come with me and bless the night..."

The moment passes. It's a peaceful feeling. Now the album really takes a twist... Meat Loaf isn't even singing at all. This is a risky move, but it's not like we haven’t heard it before, even though it was "45 Seconds of Ecstasy". But it's Patti singing "Angels arise as night must fall... And radiant eyes stare down on us all..." After the instrumental, Patti is joined by Ellen Foley and Karla DeVito. Now they all sing, "Angels arise as night must fall... And all-knowing eyes..."

The moment has barely passed when we hear those ravishing opening notes from "Braver than we are". This time, Meat sings with Ellen and Karla. But this time it goes on for fifteen minutes. It's longer still. Why??? Well, why not??? But also, there's the ballet from the Broadway "Dance of the Vampires", bursting into a chorus of "Angels Arise", before a hint at one of the next songs, and a big chorus of "Braver". This song is the closest we get to "Anything for Love", but dare I say it, it goes one step further (just one???).

After this, Meat and Patti duet on "Not Allowed to Love", which is going to be one of the album's singles, and it also sort of reminds us of "It Just Won't Quit". Jim's opening vocal from one of the demos is reused. This time, he sings a lead vocal on the album!

Maybe this is the point where we change sides... but now, possibly we get that opening chorus from "Pray Lewd" played by Steve Margoshes. "Original Sin" is on a Bat album, sort of. This then launches into the full "God has Left the Building" from the Broadway "Dance of the Vampires". On tour, this will be like an introductory piece for Meat Loaf, similar to "Great Boleros of Fire".

This takes us into... "In the Land of the Pig the Butcher is King". Meat's version is certainly very rocky, but he's singing the verses from the "Batman" demo/"Bat out of Hell" musical. This is like the "Life is a Lemon" of the album, but heavier still, and very in your face.

After this, comes "Only When I Feel", the song Meat played on the Hair of the Dog Tour from 2005. It's the full version with "If It Ain't Broke (Break It)", but with the ending from the version by Dream Engine.

This is where I always struggle with my listings, because "Anything for Love" was the big single and the first song off "Bat II", so shouldn't we have already heard this by now? But here it is anyway, I guess. Meat Loaf sings the leading single "What Part of my Body Hurts the Most?" and it becomes one of the biggest Steinman songs of the millennium. The video is like an old man in a Tim Burton style armchair. He's sitting in front of the fire. There are, like, gremlins crawling up and down the walls, maybe. He's falling apart, quite literally. He's haunted by ghosts. But he still fights on.

As the song dies away, we hear the opening chords of "Lost Boys and Golden Girls", before Meat begins to sing: "We're still the children we were then... But we never found a way..." This is the "Objects" moment of the album. Live, it also could have formed a trilogy with "Heaven Can Wait" and "Objects in the Rear View Mirror". This is a key moment in the stage show, but for now it's the climax of the album. After all these years, the character just sings: "Take me home..." very emotional, and then with a wink in his eye, a bit of a chuckle: "Now" :-)

Lastly, Meat takes us out with "Cry to Heaven", bridging it with "Angels Arise" from earlier in the album. Mind you, this is all just my interpretation. Yours could be way different.

Now that I've typed it though, I hope I won't have anything more to say about "Bat III", because it's a good, fun album in its own right. So have a nice day :-)